CHAPTER I

Everything he has been doing this evening has been deliberate. The moment was nigh. Tonight the stars might just align perfectly for him. Everything he has been doing this evening has been for this moment. He has been searching for the right knife because today, he might just reach out to heaven and cut himself a slice. The moon is barely visible. Thick clouds bully it. The sky dons a rather unappealing purple. But, Mother Nature and her sometimes-over-glorified may as well raise hell and still would not be able to stop what is about to happen. Tonight is the night! Earlier he had rushed home from work to prepare dinner. His pad was in a bit of a mess, so he hurriedly put it in order after he placed some chicken wings in the oven. He had hidden some of his dirty laundry and rugs in the storage room. His apartment has a great view of the city’s skyline. At night, lights from downtown Nairobi make his view just a little bit more breathtaking. When it comes to women serenading women, his house certainly put in the work. She is not just any lady though. Their teen friendship had given way to an emotional connection and an explosive physical attraction. This sensual transition took about a decade. The cinematic climax is tonight.

He had just finished cleaning and was ready to leave when he realized he was acutely out of breath, so he sat down on the arm of his couch that is nearest to the door. Not for long though, he still had several things to do before her arrival.

“Durex! Large and scented…” He thought to himself with a silly smile.

“Lucky night huh?” The attendant quizzed jokingly.

“It has the promise of being the best night of my life my friend!”

They were not really friends.

“Thank you!”

He shot out of the mall straight to his car. A testosterone surge had made him forget to lock his vehicle. He unenthusiastically looked around to see if anyone had noticed his ignorance then threw himself in. This is one of the safest places to shop anyway. He knew this because he once worked as an intern at a bank inside the mall. He got home just in time. The smell of the baked chicken had already started creeping into the living room. It was ready. He put down his shopping bag near the sofa and ran to the kitchen. He desperately looked for his gloves and was frustrated for a second for not being able to find them. Then he did. He opened the oven door and closed his eyes in bliss as he let the aroma into his lungs.

“Perfect!” He exclaimed.

He then turned to the cooler and took out some wine. He placed it on the kitchen table.

“In a moment I will let you breathe my friend!”

Everything is his friend today.

Nothing is out of the ordinary in his house, but everything is lux. The rugs that dotted the floor in strategic positions were elegant and functional. He chose different shades of brown and black tones that gave the condominium a cozy feel. The living area is on one end of the apartment away from the fireplace. This might seem odd at first but in the medieval era, it was common for the study area to be located where the fireplace was. He had read it somewhere in one of his many fiction novels. So he placed an almost wall-sized bookshelf on the adjacent side of the fireplace and two custom-designed black couch chairs on the other adjacent side. This has created a somewhat private and roomy area where he could do some reading.  The rug placed between the chairs and the bookshelf reads, “The devil is in the detail!” This may be symbolism for his affection for hind-end products or it could just be a motivation for second and third reads for his collection of literature.

The living area is very spacious and the almost-ceiling-high windows let in natural light during the day. He had closed all of them except one which is about three-quarters shut. This lets in a gentle evening breeze that occasionally sweeps across the room. On one side of the living room is a dedicated wall. It tells his stories and that of his family - a book written in pictures. He lit seven candles and set them in the corners of the living area. Then two longer ones were set on the coffee table at the center.

He took a deep breath and just as he was putting the cutlery on the table when his thigh began to vibrate.

“Hi!.. I’m at home…yes, of course, I have actually been waiting for you…an hour will be perfect…Okay! Sure…see you then.”

He hung up and turned into Lebron James and an NBA commentator.

“King James on the ball, fakes the pass, drives through to the two-pointer, fakes the shot…” 

He was fake-dribbling with the gloves as he moved across the living area to the kitchen. He then stood on the steps that separated the living room area and the kitchen…

“There is James, passes the ball to the edge of the court to Wade, Wade takes it, sees the play, like art in motion, he volleys the ball to the two-point area and it’s the king again…alee hoop! On the mother-freaking buzzer!”

He threw the gloves on the kitchen counter…

“The crowd goes wild!”

 

He then went to the bedroom grabbed his towel and jumped into the shower.

“Ding Dong!” His doorbell sounds.

“Coming!”

He opens the door and a goddess stands in front of him. 

“Human beings have not evolved enough to find the right words to describe this beauty.” He thought.

She looks like one of those royal queens or princesses he often saw in those epic movies he loves so much. She has perfect legs. He has noticed them for quite some time now, maybe even a little bit longer than that. He is not dreaming, but just to be sure, he bites the inside of his lower lip. There is pain. He is glad. She was really at his door.

“Well, are you going to invite me in?”

“Ummm…yeah! Sure come on in!”

He gives her an engulfing hug as he takes in that scent that has driven him to the brink of stalker insanity for almost a decade.

“You look and smell absolutely lovely!”

“You don’t look so bad yourself Mr. Chicken!” She said, in a very suggestive manner.

He embraces her and moves in to kiss her!

“The house smells lovely by the way…and the chicken too!”

Their lips brush. Whatever she is saying sounds like a distant echo at the far end of his mind. He wants her!

“Slow down tiger! What’s the rush?” She barely speaks.

He immediately stops. “I am sorry!” He says sheepishly! “There is absolutely no rush!”

He helps her remove her coat and carefully hangs it on the coat rack right beside the door. He then directs her to the dining area in the kitchen.

“My lady, dinner is served!”

He pulls the chair for her and waits for her to sit comfortably.

There has never been a day that went by without them having any sort of conversation. Today was no different. They talked and laughed almost the entire time they ate. They had this thing of making really unwitting jokes that only the two of them found funny. A decade of horrible jokes and they still find each other just as interesting.

“I did not expect any less, as always, the food was amazing!”

“Thank you…again!” 

“Are you sure you are not secretly a chef?”

“Like the batman of food or something…” she places her napkin halfway across her face and then squints, cleverly mimicking the fictional character’s pose.

“…ridding all Nairobi residents of bad food one sumptuous meal at a time!”

“Yap! You got me! That right there is my bat cave…” he points at the kitchen.

“You wanna see my cape?”

“I would love to!”

“You have to take a secret oath first!”

“And what oath would that be?”

“You must bite the tongue of the bat!” He orders in a deep clumsy voice.

“Really? That is so gross man, eiwww!”

“Don’t tell me you have a bat dangling around here with its tongue sticking out.

“Okay, okay! No actual bats, I meant me…I’m the bat around here!”

She breaks into sudden laughter, “You think you are clever, don’t you?”

“Yes, I think I am!”

“Well, I like a clever man!”

“A clever man or this clever man?”

“What do you think?”

She places down her wine glass and slowly moved towards him. He wipes his forehead with his arm and opens the other ready to embrace her.

“I don’t just want to bite the tongue of the bat, I want to eat it too!”

“Oh really, you do, don’t you?”

“Ummm…just one little thing…uuuum, please be gentle with me, I’m still quote-unquote getting the hang of it…”

“Are you like a virgin?”

“No…no…no! I’m…”

She was. He knew.

“It’s fine, I’m just messing with you!”

“Hey…there is really nothing to be afraid of…it is completely natural to feel this way.”

“…and how would you know how it feels?” She sheepishly asks.

“Google!”

“What?! You research it before you have it?”

“No!”

“Maybe!” He thought to himself.

“You are weird, you know that? How does a person just stumble into such information on Google?”

“Backlinks, spam, forward emails, shit is crazy out there on the interweb! Look, just relax yourself and let your body get into it, I am sure you will enjoy it!”

“Let me guess, you also got that from Google huh?”

He wraps his hands around her waist and she lustfully holds his head as they kissed. He sweeps her off the floor and starts walking towards the bedroom. Her hands move down his neck, then to his shoulders. She feels him. She has wanted to explore his physique for months. Lust has blinded her. All she can visualize is the pleasure she was going to get from this man. She has been holding out for far too long. Tonight she is ready. He places her down on the bed carefully, almost like she had no weight at all. His left arm supports his weight as his right-hand fingers run along her silhouette. She presses his head closer to herself with one hand as she tries to unbutton his shirt with the other. His fingers made the first discovery. The only thing standing in his way was her lacy pink underwear. He could touch the doors of heaven, and she could not take the frustration any longer. She shoves him off to the side and gets on top of him. She rips his shirt open and proceeds to unbuckle his belt. This proves a little impossible as he also tries to undress her.

“This is silly…just wait for a bit!”

“No…you wait for a bit!”

He pushes her back down to the bed and effortlessly slips off that which was in the way. He lifts her back up from the shoulders and they continue kissing. Meanwhile, millions of passengers had already arrived at the train station, waiting for the train. They are destined for foreign lands. One of his hands blindly searches for the zipper on the back of the dress. He then suddenly lifts her dress and gets it off her head in one swoop. He paused for a moment. They looked into each other’s eyes. He saw pleasure, she saw love. She felt love, he felt pleasure. There was only one way to get the two.

“Your turn!”

She unbuckled his belt and threw him onto the bed again. She clutched on his boxer and linen pants and peeled them off him as he disparately took off his vest. The train had arrived.

“Oh my…where I’m I going to put all that?” She exclaimed.

“I’m sure we can find a place or two!”

He sits up and directs her to him by her hand.

“I may need my carrots grated tomorrow, so I’m thinking I should use these…” as she feels over his abs.

“The abs are yours, but I’ll need to be compensated!”

She kisses his neck up to his ears then whispers, “Well if you find a place or two that you like, they are yours!”

He snaps open her bra and perfect ovals fall on his shoulder. He breathes them. She is struck with sudden ecstasy and throws her head back. She howls. He presses her navel onto his chest and he explores her cherished lands. They have been flooding. He then stands on his knees and places her on her back.

“Take me!”

His tongue, Christopher Columbus, her body, the Americas.

“No rush right!” He whispers, and a smile draws on her face.

“She smells so good.” He thinks.

He dives in head first. There is a lengthy greeting at the gates. Heaven floods and washes him with waters from the secret fountain. Tremors of pleasure visible on her skin. 

Colonies of goosebumps. Her toes curl up to the ceiling…

“Excuse me, boss, you have a text message!” The phone called.

“Sorry!”

“It’s fine!” He scoffs.

The message tone rang again.

“I’m really sorry, it might be important!”

“Really? Now?”

First, his knife slips from his hand, and then he loses his grip on the door handles of heaven. He watches himself fall as he helplessly clutches at nothing. He grieves as gravity acts upon him. He knows he might not survive this fall.

“It’s Gareth. He knows I’m here…he is coming!”

The train loses control and gets off its tracks. It crashes back to earth. No trip to any foreign lands today. The train has been indefinitely delayed.